My job is so fucking unbelievable. I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.

But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big fucking dog to work. Every fucking day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single fucking day.

Anyway, I drive these fucktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit.

lol. when i read the last line, i cracked right up. haha

Old copy pasta is old

sorry ive never seen it before, so its new to me

And just cause you don't like it, don't mean it ain't no good
And let me tell you something;

Before you go taking a walk in my world
You better take a look at the real world
Cause this ain't no Mister Roger's Neighborhood

Sure it is.

The Jolly Trolley runs through my room so yeah...it is. Ain'tchu seen my sweatah?!?!?!?

http://board.mastodonrocks.com/index.php?showtopic=5706


You failed again.

Nice find.

Sooooo...... You work with 4 out the 5 Scooby Doo characters.
You pretty much described them in perfect detail.
Wouldn't that make you that gay blond guy with the scarf?

BAZANTI BOOTIN OW ZOOTIN OW HOOTIN AL COHN

im a closet gay and its a ascot...asshole

I'm willing to bet that at least half of Astro Zombie's posts are 'GO DIE IN A FIRE'.

But I laugh every time 8)

I fucking hate this board.

Someone died at my work today from swine flu complications...I work at a grocery store, now thats shitty to see

This actually made me laugh!

This is the best post you've ever made.

I am actually kind of freaked out on how that matches up perfectly.

So perfectly that it has to be a set up.

Fuck you both.

ya that was a good setup, almost like i paid you to say it....

*waits for the Magnum is reznier thread*

Great! I can't wait.
That would be funny though.
You guys did that to MastoFred and he went away.
Maybe... Just maybe, Reznier will go away if you accuse him of being me!
I guess that's my purpose on this board... I'm the "perman00b" that is used by the other members to castrate the n00bs we don't want.

At the very least Reznier and Magnum are butt-buddies thread

crazy shit

While I was supposed to be on the job a kid nearly drowned during the summer...


There was another lifeguard on, it was his slip up not mine, but if the kid had died I would've probably felt responsible. All because I wanted to weigh myself before and after a dump, meaning I had to go across to the other side of the complex to the adults only changing room.

Also yesterday I cleaned up three piles of sick from three separate children, all gone for a swim after a wholesomely retarded meal in McDonald's.

I'm unemployed. I have been lovng it recently, I'm just waiting for the lottery win to keep the good times going.

funny

I had a great time being unemployed.

After fucking crushing my soul for 3 years in the job I was doing with absolutely no payoff, this is like fucking heaven. I'm partying every day. Its amazing. I dominated Crobar yesterday.